Dec 20 2009
Holiday Anxiety-7 Ways to Avoid It
Holidays with the family. Getting together with adult siblings, parents, grandparents, cousins, nieces, nephews…just thinking about it can cause stress.
Can’t wait to see your older brother who still treats you like a child, and is still tormenting you. Or your brother-in-law who keeps throwing his “white collar” job in your face. Then there is Aunt Edna who seems to enjoy embarrassing you. And your mother, is this a new boyfriend?
Family…you have got to love them (I think it is a law). But the anticipation of spending an afternoon with them can cause anxiety. Holiday depression can start with family anxiety.
What can you do?
- Take the high road. Be the better person and let them gloat, boast, or ridicule. Do not treat it as a contest and try to “one up them”. Smile, and let it go. Respond with “That’s a good one.” and let it go. Do not dwell on it, or try to analyze what they really meant. Let it go!
- Spend time with the children. Play a board game. The other adults will appreciate that the kids are not running around and underfoot. Do not force your favorite teenage niece or nephew to participate if they do not want to. You want to have a memorable experience!
- Take a walk around the yard if the weather permits and the tension is high. This is NOT a smoke break. Take someone who looks like they need to take a “time out” with you. Do not use this as an opportunity to bad-mouth anyone, Just take a break!
- Everything does not have to be perfect. Life is a series of mishaps and blunders. Go with it. Not enough chairs to sit at the table, offer the couch. Many would prefer that. The main dish a little dry or burnt, It happens. Apologize and let them eat it or not. Offer the side dishes and go with it!
- Enjoy the activities, or at least participate. Some families play cards, some watch football or movies, some just gather around the kitchen and reminisce. Be a passive participant. Don’t be the center of attention; offer a “yeah” or “way to go” when appropriate. Being a wallflower isn’t always a bad thing.
- DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL. While you may think it makes you more interesting, tolerant, or are just trying to cope, drinking is not the answer. Even if “everyone else is” drinking, you cannot or should not do any of the above while drinking. Stay sober!
- Be gracious. Thank, hug, or kiss (if appropriate) the guest or host when being served, asked for assistance or leaving. A simple “Thank You” can go a long way!
When it is over, it’s done. Do NOT take any ill-will, contempt, innuendos, or bad feelings with you. You may ask for a helping of the dry, burnt casserole. While you don’t have to eat it, treat it like the unpleasant experiences and throw it away. Remember the wonderful smell and taste of the pecan pie.
Enjoy the Holidays with your families.
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